Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with my friend, Mark. Apparently, Mark’s son, ‘Eric’ is devastated because his girlfriends parents have decided ‘Jill’ can’t go to the Senior Prom with him. These two kids have been dating all through their senior year and are crazy about each other. Going to the Senior Prom is an important date in the lives of teenagers.
But apparently at Jill’s house, foolishness, fear, and oppression reign supreme.
The problem is, Jill’s parents want her to be a virgin when she gets married. Fine. That’s not actually the problem, the problem is how they intent to ensure that happens. Eric and Jill, despite raging hormones, have respected that all year. Both are good kids. They are in sports, have great grades, and thus far have had good respectful relationships with their parents.
But for reasons unknown,… perhaps they’ve heard the term, “Off like a prom dress!”, Jill’s parents are now afraid that if the kids go to prom, the dirty deed will happen. So in their vast wisdom, they have decided no prom. Yep! That’ll fix it!
"While you're at it, why don't you just put her in a burka!"
Am I missing something obvious here? That is the most foolish thing those people could possibly do. Do they think the prom is the only place or time that ever happens? Helloooo???
#1 - If those kids were going to do it, it probably would have happened by now.
#2 – If it was ‘planned’ to happen on prom night, keeping her home from the prom will just delay it. It will just happen the NEXT time the kids are together.
#3 – Telling two teenagers, “We won’t allow you to do this or that,” is the surest way to ensure it does indeed happen. Teenagers are programmed genetically to test their boundaries. Kids will rebel if kept under a thumb.
Eric and Jill have maintained their own discipline throughout their entire Senior year. If the parents think things are getting too cozy, stopping them from going to the prom is not the way to keep Jill ‘safe’. How about sitting the kids down and TALKING to them about these concerns. They could even write up a little contract and have the kids sign it! What it all boils down to, is you can’t tell a teenager “I forbid that.”
If you give kids the tools and the trust to make their own good decisions, it’s amazing how often they will do the right thing.
