As The Stomach Turns...

In tonights episode.... 2 neighbors have complained today about Emmy's barking.
I told Bob I was going to give her to one of the guys I work with.
Bob said, "Don't give her away yet. Let me take her for a while, until you decide what you're doing."

But what Bob really means is, "I've been wanting to get a 2nd corgie. I like having 2 dogs. I want to take Emmy, but don't want to admit it."

So he's taking her for a while so that later he can say, "Well, Emmy and Maggie have become good friends, I can't separate them. I guess I'll have to keep the little shit."

So, starting tomorrow, Emmy is going to Bob's. Part of me is glad. Part of me is sad. I'm glad she's going to Bob. But I'm sad that now I have nobody to cuddle with.. I'm going to miss her. But I guess I'm just not meant to have a dog. :o(

Tune in next time, when we hear Linda say,... "How much is that canoe on the wall over there?"

Ok, I am NOT loving life in Lala Land.

I am so fucking sick of being me.  I try to do what's right.  I try to make wise decisions.  I try to be nice to people.  I try to be a good friend, mother, daughter, sister, employee, etc.  But life bites me in the ass every frickin time I turn around.  Frankly, I'm tired of it. 

I'm sick and tired of being me.  I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being lonely.  I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy. I'm sick and tired of making bad desions.  I'm sick of worring.  I'm tired of working my ass off and never getting anywhere. I'm tired of being broke.  I'm sick of not being able to pay my bills.  I don't spend on ANYTHING other than food, gas and bills.  I'm tired of unexpected expenses.  I'm tired of stress at work.  I'm sick and tired of bullshit I can't control. I'm tired of being a burden. I'm tire of not being able to help. I'm tired of worring about everything I say and do. I'm tired of feeling like shit.  I'm tired of self medicating.  I'm sick and tired of pretending I give a shit.  I'm just fucking tired of everything. 

And if it weren't for Andrea and Lisa, I'd go write a bad check to buy a canoe, and I'd plop that sucker in the pacific and head west until a storm or lack of food and water took it's toll.   (With my luck, I'd make it all the way to the shores of some 3rd world armpit.)

And ya know what else.  I KNOW damn good and well that I should not post this.  I know that this is just another bad decision I am making.  But what the hell,... I'm on a roll.

Self-fullfilling Prophecies

 With the last 2 men I've dated,  I said from the very beginning that it wouldn't last long. 

The first one, I said right away that he was too sensitive for a Pogue woman. Sure enough, I hurt his feelings over and over.

The second one, I said almost immediately that I was going to get my heart broken, and by golly if it didn't happen.

Now, what is the common denominator in these 2 failed attempts.  Hmmmm, let's think about this....  Oh! I know!  It's ME. 

Perhaps I'd better sit down and have a little talk with myself about self-fullfilling prophecies, before I go out on another date.  Hmm?

Repeating my daughter's words, over and over,....

"my mind, body, and spirit are strong, i am intriguing, i take each day to rejuvenate and recharge, i am independent, i am complex, i breathe in strength and release my fears, i am healthy, i choose to be unstoppable, i am genuine, i am bigger than my concerns andworries, i can do anything, the strength of others inspires me, i trust my intuition, i am a good mother, i am a good friend, and above all, i am a good person."

Girls Weekend coming up!

Getting together with childhood friends and fellow Junior High cheerleaders, Teri and Jewel this weekend.  It will be a very dignified and mature weekend, I'm sure.  Hopefully there will be no trips to the emergency room,...  but I am taking bail money.

I am the luckiest person I know....

I have a wonderful family.  My daughters and grandaughter, my Mom and my siblings, their offspring, and THEIR offspring, are all so fun, and cute, and weird, and wonderful. Very few people have as close a family as I do.     GROUP HUUUUGGGGG!!!!!

And,... I love my job.  At a time when most people are grateful to have ANY kind of job, I have one of the best jobs I've ever had. I'm getting paid to do what I love to do. What could be better?  It keeps me challenged, but not really stressed.  I love everybody I work with.  And my boss is such a sweetie.  (But I can't let him know that,... he thinks he's a bad azz.  Shhhhh... ) 

And, I have fantastic friends who are always there for me. Always ready to spend some time and provide a chuckle or two.  I've recently found some that I  haven't seen in many years. And yet we just seem to pick up where we left off.    

There are many more ways in which I have been blessed.

I am so lucky! 

Ah, piss on it. You knew I couldh't do it...

 OK, at no time did I ever say that was a picture of MY pie!  I said I'd made a pie.  And I wanted to put a picture of an apple pie in the post, so I used google images and found a fricken pie. Geez, ... I was lucky to have MADE the damn thing, let alone take pictures of it, and THEN download them onto the computer AND post it to my blog?  Hello?  It's me!  Lala!  Am I EVER that organized? 
- head shake of disbelief-
Oh!  And yes! I was proud that i had cooked something for,... um,... i'll just keep calling him The Harmonica Player.  He has cooked 3 big beautiful meals for me, so I wanted to cook him a pie. 

You know, only one other time in my whole life have I ever had a beau that made me want to go out of my way and do especially nice things for him. That one guy was unique. But The Harmonica Player makes me want to be a better person too.  I don't know if I'm  explaining this right, or what the heck it means, but I like the way it makes me feel. 
- thumbs in ears, tongue sticking out -

Did I miss anything?

Grrrrr!!!!

I've only been back to blogging for 1 day, and already,  I've screwed up my blog.  Now I remember why I quit blogging.  At least on Facebook, THEY screwed up everything FOR me!